Decluttering seems to get all the glory when it comes to living simply but that’s only a small part of the puzzle. There are many other stages of our simplicity journeys. Decluttering can be great place to start because when you clear up what’s around you, it gives you more attention to work on what’s inside of you. That doesn’t mean decluttering has to be the main event when it comes to living simply though. Working on daily habits or what’s going on inside for awhile may even give you clarity on what you really want and need in your life and make it easier to let go of other stuff.
8 Powerful Ways To Live Simply (without decluttering)
1. Caring less about what other people think of you is the ultimate self-care practice.
It may be impossible to not care at all about what others think, but even caring a little less will give you room to consider what you want for your life. Usually we think people are thinking about us and what we do far more often than they actually are. Turn down those thoughts and do what is best for you.
2. Recognize when you are simply dealing with too much.
The problem isn’t your organizing skills or how you manage your time. The problem is that you are dealing with too much. I’m not a very organized person. That’s why living with less works so well for me. There is less to keep track of, less to lose and less to think about. I rarely lose my keys or wonder where my glasses are. That said, I do occasionally look for my phone while I’m on my phone (tell me I’m not alone). This isn’t for lack of being organized. I tried to be organized. I diligently sorted and filed things. I even had a label maker and lots of bins and boxes and cabinets from Ikea. It looked nice and it didn’t last. I always had to keep organizing my stuff and “getting my shit together” and eventually I got tired of it. I didn’t want more stuff for my stuff, I didn’t want to get organized, I wanted to live my life.
I understand the idea of being organized, and the benefit of having organizational systems and time management routines but I also see that most of these systems were just created to help us save everything and store more stuff and get more done so we can bask in the glow of our productivity. I don’t care about those things. One of the reasons we are so easily overwhelmed is because we have so much to deal with. By turning your focus from organizing to living with less, you can create more margin so when bigger things happen they don’t completely upend your life. You need a buffer and some margin for the unexpected. Let’s face it, if organizing worked, you’d be organized by now.
3. Where we think we need control is often where we actually need self-trust. – Lisa Olivera
When I feel the need to control something or manage things better, I take a deep breath and check in with my heart. Then I listen. Then I trust. 99% of the time all of the things I want to manage or control are not mine to manage or control. I can’t control the weather or what other people think or do. I can only control myself and how I react to all the things I cannot control.
4. The next time things get hard, try resting through instead of pushing through.
We don’t have to effort through everything. We can ease through and rest through. We might not get through faster but we will get through healthier and happier. We are hard enough on ourselves and somehow become even tougher when going through something challenging like a job change, grief, a breakup or breakdown or not feeling well. Somewhere we started believing that pushing through was our only choice. It’s not.
I used to think that I was strong for pushing through. I thought I was good at it and that by doing it over and over again, I was getting stronger. Actually, the opposite was happening. I was wearing myself down, exhausting my body and my mind. Finally, I couldn’t push through anymore. When I started resting through instead, I realized I had it all wrong. I didn’t have to rush my healing, hide my pain or find an immediate solution. Trade pushing, forcing and pretending for resting, relaxing and resetting.
5. Don’t try to prove who you are by doing more.
6. Stop giving your attention to everything.
Most things don’t require your time and attention. Even though it feels like we are pulled in a million different directions, we do not have to respond or devote any energy at all to most of the things that say, “choose me!” Instead, save your precious resources for something precious.
7. Decluttering is one part dealing with your stuff and three parts dealing with your heart.
Ok, I snuck this one but it’s less about decluttering and more about mindset. This is why letting go is hard. Because stuff isn’t just stuff in our hearts. Stuff is the moment someone said hello or goodbye. It’s a pair of shoes we never thought we could afford or decades of photos that remind us that we had a life. Stuff is dozens of report cards and yearbooks and it’s also 49 coffee cups (even though we always use our favorite one).
All of that is true about stuff in our hearts AND there is a possibility for fuller lives, less stress, moving with more ease, more clarity about what matters, more time to engage in what you discover matters to you, more presence and connection with the people you love, better sleep, space for creativity and room to take care of yourself.
And even better news … there is a place in between ALL stuff and NO stuff that will allow you to not only shift your focus from defining who you are by what you own but also, to enjoy your favorite things. It’s your simplicity, your home, your life. You make the rules.
8. It’s time to be gentle.
If it feels like every day is just another push through until the end, keeping it together, proving yourself, taking care of everyone and thinking you’ll rest when … (insert fantasy date and time here), I see you. I’ve been there. I know it’s hard. And I know it can be better but only when you decide enough is enough.
We need to give ourselves permission to be gentle, slow and soft, to rest when we want, turn down the noise and find the ground beneath our feet. We need it not only when we are overwhelmed but always. Making time for this is the way back to listening to yourself, to trusting yourself, to getting your life back. Start small with moments and minutes and let the practice grow at a pace that works for you.
P.S. For more notes and quotes, and simple inspiration, join me on Instagram.