When you want to feel happier, it usually comes down to prioritizing a few simple habits. When it comes to choosing new habits for a little (or big) happiness bump, choose small shifts over big transformations. Tiny steps and slow progress will feel better than a big life overhaul. As author Glennon Doyle said, “When everything is terrible and I hate my life and I feel certain that I need a new career, a new religion, a new house, a new life, I look at my list and remember that what I really need is probably a glass of water.”
Feel Happier Daily with 7 Simple Habits
These new habits can significantly impact how you feel. Everyone is different, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the first habit made you happier immediately, and you’ll notice a difference after a week or two of practicing the others (maybe even sooner).
1. Prioritize simple pleasures to feel happier immediately.
I look forward to waking up because I know there are a few simple pleasures waiting for me. When I make my coffee, I appreciate how it smells and how lovely it will be to enjoy it while I call my sister to chat about the day. If you have a coffee or tea in the morning, or a breakfast you like, ask yourself if you consider it a regular part of your day or if you allow it to help you feel happier by seeing it as a simple pleasure. To keep this new habit tiny, start with the things that are already happening and pay attention to how special it is. Then, after a couple of weeks of turning your ordinary habits into simple pleasures, consider adding something new. As you can see, this tiny habit has the power to make you feel happier instantly.
2. Feel happier by doing something nice for someone else.
Yesterday, when I was out for a walk, I noticed my neighbors had a box of apples on their front lawn with a small sign that said, “Take or pick apples” with permission to fill a bag with apples from the box or their beautiful apple trees. That little something they did for me and anyone else walking by brought a smile to my face. It made me want to pay it forward by sending a small care package to someone I love.
There are so many little things we can do for others that usually end up making us feel happier. Here are a few examples:
- Bake something for a friend.
- Donate books at a little library.
- Share someone’s creative work or small business on social media.
- Send a thank you note.
- Make a playlist full of love songs for someone you love.
3. Honor your bedtime.
This habit may not feel easy but it is so simple. There is no doubt in my mind we feel happier when we sleep better. If you struggle to sleep well, start with your bedtime. Are you going to bed at a reasonable hour or are you staying up in the name of doing, “one more thing” because it’s never only one more thing and it always takes longer than just a sec.
Start by setting a reasonable bedtime. I like 9:30 but if you are used to staying up later, choose something before midnight, and something that will allow you to sleep for 7 or 8 hours. Once you commit to a bed time, honor it. Set an alarm to remind you to go to bed and stick to it for at least two weeks so you can see if it helps you sleep better.
Even if you aren’t falling asleep right away, create the gentle practice of putting yourself to bed at the time you choose. Read or do something else that doesn’t require a phone, tv, or tablet/computer if possible. If you want to listen to a meditation or sleep sounds on your phone, that’s ok but no checking the weather or social media or anything else. Each morning, jot down a couple of words about what it felt like to go to bed on time and how you slept.
I know there may be some exceptions here, like if you work a night shift for instance but otherwise, leave the emails, tv shows, extra house cleaning and other tasks for another day. At first, you may feel a little frustrated especially if you struggle with Revenge Bedtime Procrastination. “We value productivity so much that we pack our days,” says Lauren Whitehurst, a cognitive neuroscientist and sleep researcher at the University of Kentucky. Revenge bedtime procrastination, she says, “is really a kind of commentary on [our lack of down time.]” It’s not about the inability to sleep – it’s about delaying sleep in an effort to assert some kind of control over your time (from this NPR Article).
4. Say “No thank you”
I don’t know who needs to hear this but you are allowed to say no or no thank you even when you aren’t busy. I don’t say “no” because I’m so busy, I say “no” because I don’t want to be so busy. Just because you have time or availability for something doesn’t mean you are obligated to say yes. You are the only one who can protect your time. Don’t create space so you can do more things (especially things you have no interest in). Create space for more life, for more being you.
While I think it’s clear how this habit can make you feel happier (less time doing things you don’t want to do and more time enjoying your life) it doesn’t mean it’s always easy to practice. There are simple ways to help, and the way to keep this habit small is to keep it short. It’s when you over explain that saying no get’s complicated. Keep this habit surprisingly tiny starting with something or someone other than the hardest thing or the person who is the hardest to say no to. Practicing this habit won’t just help you feel happier, it will help you to trust yourself, to feel less overwhelmed and overextended. It will give you an opportunity to come back to you.
5. Pause purchases and you’ll feel happier.
I used to buy things because I thought they would make me feel happier. And they did, at first. That happiness dropped off fast though. As Matt D’Avella says, “After you have your basic needs met, getting more stuff won’t make you any happier.” Hedonic adaptation, sometimes called the Hedonic Treadmill suggests that through life’s ups and downs and highs and lows we usually return to our own level of baseline happiness. In other words, more stuff isn’t the answer if you are in search of more happiness and life satisfaction. The next time you want to buy something (outside of your basic needs), pause the purchase for 30 days. Then decide.
6. If you want to feel happier, quit something that makes you sad.
Take a look at the habits in your life that are causing you pain. Decide if the things you are listening to, watching and engaging in make you feel happier or unhappier. If you are watching a show or reading a book you don’t enjoy, quit doing that. If starting your day scrolling social media drains you, quit that.
As I’ve simplified my life, I’ve realized that I need much less than I think to feel happy. And still, creating little boosts of happiness through tiny habit changes that often come with other benefits is always a win. In the cases where you aren’t aiming for a happiness boost but working through depression or grief, please ask for the support you need. Not everything has a quick fix. In the cases where you aren’t aiming for a happiness boost but working through depression or grief, please ask for the support you need. Not everything has a quick fix. The more you practice these habits, the more comfortable they feel. When you practice healthy habits like these you will feel happier. When you feel happier, you add a layer of ease to things that may have felt challenging before.
7. Create the habit of being unavailable.
Being connected to people and available for people we love can make us feel happier but when we are always available, we may start to feel resentful. Between work calls, emails and texts and friends and family reaching out, even the good stuff can feel overwhelming.
Create the habit of being unavailable for a little while each day by creating “me time” on your calendar, turning your phone off or going into do not disturb mode. By creating some protected time for yourself, you can better engage with your community when it’s time. We need both time for ourselves and time to be connected with others.